10 Truths about Watching Downloaded or Streaming Videos Part 1

Category: Techtoday

1. Horror, slasher, and monster movies aren't scary if they suddenly pixelate, stutter, or fade into video lines midway through the video. In fact, the word "buffering" is scarier (unless you're watching Sadako crawling through the television in 1998's Ringu).

Jean Garcia in Shake, Rattle, and Roll X (2008)

2. Tech guys were right. HD downloads or Blu-ray rips won't make a movie any better. A terrible movie like Green Lantern (2011) is still a terrible movie even at the highest bit rate (even though Blake Lively is pretty amazing to look at in hi-res). On the other hand, awesome movies like the Indiana Jones Trilogy and the Back to the Future trilogy will always be worth watching even if the video was a spliced 15-second clip.

"We can't use that room. There's a webcam inside. . . I don't need no sex videos. I'm a college professor."
Screenshot from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

3. The strangest and most entertaining videos aren't from YouTube. Try European video sites or Chinese sites like Xunlei or Youku.com. You'll find sexy K-Pop videos, brutal martial art scenes, or hot Portuguese women - you'll either laugh yourself to death or will be bowled over with surprise.

4. Times and Newsweek a decade ago correctly reported that HD porn wasn't going to a be pretty sight especially if you could see the surgical scars, stretch marks, and misplaced hair growth of the actresses. That said, red-blooded males still get by with great audio, early non-HD videos of Sasha Grey or Japanese AV actresses like Maria Ozawa.

Sasha Grey's signature smirk.

5. One of the Internet's greatest contributions is widespread availability of foreign-language subtitles. A well-written and accurately transcribed .srt or .sub file is worth its weight in gold whether it's for anime, Spanish art movies, or classic French porn.

Lovely Michelle Chen in Taiwan's "You are the Apple of My Eye" (2011)

10 Truths about Watching Downloaded or Streaming Videos Part 2 - 6-10 Truths


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